Zutara month: 2O14
by blackpearlbreathe
Summary: This is my contribution for this wonderful month, being two prompts chosen per week to become the guides of the story I'm gonna write: hope you'll enjoy it!


_first:_

Hello, sweeties! This is my first time trying to write with a word already in my mind, AHAHAHA: one, this will have two parts ani the second one I'll post until the end of this week; two, I know I shoud be doing chapter two of my other fic, but I'm still trying to decide which way to go with that!; three, english is not my first language, so if you could only forgive me for my grammar mistakes - end even tell me about them, please and thank you! - and tell me how I'm doing that'd be very nice; four: it's nice to know all of you and I hope I can entertain you all a little bit.

I wish I could suggest a song for this one, but this story got a life of its own and by the end of it, it was not at all what I planned!

_second:_

Some subtitles:

"**saying**" — "_thinking_".

_third:_

Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to A:TLA, sadly.

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"**2O14, week one: hidden and confession, part I**"

by

~_blackpearlbreathe_.

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She would look at him from times to times, and there would be that unreservedly consuming remorse coming out of nowhere and she knew – oh, how much she did knew! – that there was too much on the stake for her to be daydreaming about things that could not be named: they were in verge of war, for Tui and La's sake!

And the cry of not only a whole current World was on their shoulders – not only the one she came to know trough the days travelling with Aang – but of what came to be a cruel place also destroyed and forsaken by the Fire Nation that was forced into all those innocent people's life, violating their right to peace and happiness, that were killed during the past one hundred years; of those who managed to stay alive whose lack of faith in the future made life too unbearable to be lived, only existing – and, of course, the World that was yet to come to all those still within Destiny's hold that would come live where they were afterward.

Yet, no matter how many times she tried to shake that bad feeling out of her, whenever she'd lay her eyes at Zuko, something would pierce her so furiously that she could not help but let her face be ragged with disgust and that one feeling she could not properly distinguish.

It felt a lot like pain, but not like the kind of pain she was used to, the pain caused by somebody else's choices and actions: it was that sadness that would take over one's mind at that realization that the guilt she/he was feeling was so utterly her/his own fault that she/he needed to feel even more soreness so she/ he could try – try again, and again, and again; never enough! – to measure up the hurting caused.

It was strange to feel so shattered about something she didn't even know about! She didn't remember drinking anything suspicious like cactus' juice after that one fateful experience at the Si Wong Desert, so there was no way she could have done something to Zuko that felt that dreadful without even recalling it!

Up to a couple of days ago she could swear she hated him – she could swear to the Spirits, good and bad ones, that she didn't even need that much of a good reason to do all the bad (but not at all pleasurable) things she threatened him before – before the whole Southern Raiders' situation happened, but now she was just at peace with him (finally!) – and, yet, she couldn't bring herself to face him.

"**Hey.**", she hears a male voice call her not very distant from where she is, and she doesn't even need to look to know who is calling – she doesn't need and she doesn't want to; it's Zuko. "**… Hey**", she responds dryly while still finishing cleaning up the place to start setting up dinner, not yet realizing that she was doing a really poor job at hiding her discomfort around him with all that unsociability, of course!

"**Do you need me– uh, I mean–**", he clears his throat, quite uncomfortable, internally cursing himself for not thinking that through: it was not like she would ever need him for anything, because she was one of the most skilled woman he has ever know and – "_URGH!_", he thought to himself angrily!

The plan was to try to discover what was wrong, or to at least let her know that he sensed her feelings – or the lack of them – and no matter what it was, he would fix it and that he'd be up to whatever it was that needed to be done in order to clean things up – but he completely skipped the part where he has always been a complete disaster went it came to social skills, let alone niceness! "**Can I be of any use to you? With this?**", he said at last, almost expectantly.

… No, courteous!Zuko was not a good Zuko at all, and she almost felt the need to laugh at his ineptness and – she didn't, anyway. She was so very far away from reality – replaying things over and over again to try and find whatever mistake she might had committed to him to justify that shame – to actually care. "**I'm fine, Zuko, don't mind me**".

He was going to ask if she was sure, but he knew better than to test her. "**Okay, sure**", he tried to force a smile – what was a huge deal to Zuko, mind you – but that smile didn't quite reached his eyes – it doesn't matter anyway, it was not like she was too worried about him anyway.

When he was about to leave, both of them heard the sound of someone clapping and – at the same time – the turned around to see who it was. "**That was some beautiful interaction between you two, guys, I'm touched**", Toph finally said, "**Why even bother to quit the damn drama and concentrate AT THE WAR GOING ON FOR THE PAST ONE HUNDRESD YEARS when you could just win Ozai over with this amazing heartbreaking friendship of yours?!**", she exclaimed forcibly cheerful, "**Seriously, I think it would save us quite some time, because you two are just awesome together!**".

Katara stood up, and for the first time since their return and that shy hug, she finally looked Zuko in the eyes, and they just openly stared at each other for quite some instants, trying to solve whatever feeling they could see in the other's gaze, before Katara turned to look at Toph. "**What do you want, Toph?**".

"**Oh, I just really want to know what happened in that trip of yours, nothing too urgent!**", the earthbender quickly added.

And, before Zuko could properly open his mouth, Katara rolled her eyes. "**There's nothing left to tell, the important thing is that I did not kill Yon Rha and**" – "**Spare me! – I'm not talking about that – I'm talking about what happened between you two!**", she rose an eyebrow in disbelief, "**It's like the Western Air Temple all over again, Sugar Queen!**".

At that, Zuko shifted uncomfortably now beside Katara, and instinctively looked at her: he didn't have an answer for that – and if he was being honest to himself that was something he would like to know too.

"**What?!**", Katara gasped trying very hard not to redden: there was just no way that Toph was actually sensing her uneasiness! – or, at least, she hoped she was the only one. "**You're mistaken, there's absolutely nothing happening between us, I mean… Right - right, Zuko?!**", Katara nervously shifted her gaze to him, only to find him with both shoulders shrugged and looking seemly mortified to the ground, while brushing imaginary dirt off of his clothes, as if he wasn't even part of that conversation!

…

… …

… … …

… … … …

… … … … … "_Oh, no!_", she thought – realization slapped her so hard that she had quite some trouble finding her words again! "**Oh, I'm so – so, so, so! – sorry, Zuko!**", she panicked, while she saw his good eye widen with surprise. "**I didn't know I was actually behaving different, or something**", Katara paused still a bit tense, not really sure how else she could explain things she didn't even be on familiar terms with.

Zuko had a hard time understanding – or trying to, at least – her sudden indifference, after all they lived together in that trip, but at the sign of all that curious display of distress, he softened: of course he didn't know her like the others, but if there was something he could be sure of was that she would not put someone through something if she wasn't sure they deserved, or without a good reason – she had her faults here and there, but unfairness wasn't one of them; so, he would wait! He knew that when the time came, she would talk to him – they were more civilized with each other now – and that thought sat well with him, despite everything; without even realizing, one of his hands reached her shoulder, as if to say it was okay and that she really didn't need to explain herself just yet.

He was smiling at her – and it was not so hard now, different from some moments ago – and she smiled back unconsciously, and for that split second it was almost hard to believe that they've been strange with each other – especially Katara – for days now.

"… **So?**", Toph was the one who broke their trance, still waiting for a convincing answer. "**I'm still here, kids**".

Zuko's hand was still on Katara and for some reason she was yet to remember, they seemed to be closer than at first: suddenly, they are apart and blushing, not really able to keep eye contact as Zuko cursed something that none of the girls quite understood! Not that there was anything more to it than what it seemed, but most of the time Zuko would forget that Katara was a woman – Katara would forget that Zuko was a man too – and not only a genderless friend.

"**It's not him, it's me, Toph**", Katara said matter-of-factly, oblivious as to how it sounded. "**I still have to come in terms with some feelings, but in time, we'll be just fine**".

Zuko almost choked as he realized what she's just said – or implied – and Toph couldn't help but laugh uncontrollably, while shaking in disbelief and surprise! "**Yeah, Sugar Queen, **_**I see**_", she said it between a laugh and the other having some difficult to even her breathe.

"**Toph, could you be any more louder?!**", Sokka screamed from afar, clearly angry. "**There's a genius at work here and fancy bending alone won't win this war!**".

"**I'm sorry, Snoozles, but remember that you were worried about Zuko and Katara not bonding like you and him?!**", she screamed louder so there would be no doubts! "**Our sweet and awkward Zuko here, your bro, seems to be wooing your sister ever since their sweet little trip – that's where the tension was coming from – and "**_**in time, they'll be just fine**_**"!**".

It was Katara's eyes widening this time, as her mind went back to what she just said and – as soon as her words finally sunk in – she is just astonished with herself for being so dense sometimes! Not that she tried to do anything about it, anyway: in the end of the day – and every day until she died, at that! – she would always be Sokkas' sister and that was probably some kind of side-effect, or curse.

"**WHAT?!**" was the loud response from Sokka and a now very much uncomfortable Aang at the same time, as Suki only laughed at that – being the deadly warrior she trained to be, taking in her surroundings was one of her best traits and she didn't miss the potential between those two indeed. "**WHAT DID YOU DO TO **_**MY BABY SISTER**_**, ZUKO?!**", he kept screaming while now standing – letting behind a bunch of papers that started to fly around – or running, actually, in his direction with fury in his eyes and his sword in his hands. "**WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BABY SISTER, **_**THAT I TRUSTED YOU TO TAKE CARE**_** WHILE YOU TOOK HER **_**VERY FAR AWAY**_** FROM ME?!**", he was storming out even louder, and Zuko thought it was a good thing he was the one that grew up in there and that he also knew a couple of spots to hide, being that the first time in many – oh, so many – years that the Ember Island actually made him happy, for a change.

He also decided it was a good time to start running – Sokka was getting dangerously close! – but before he did, he looked one last time to a very self-conscious and silent Katara and decided that if he would have to go through hell with Sokka anyway, that he might as well _at least deserve it_, right?

As they say that a man in peace with his death is braver than any other, because he knows he has nothing else to lose – or even time to feel the lost, anyway – the next thing Katara knew was that she was being crushed against someone – Zuko at that – and there was this soft voice momentarily playing around her ear – and her sanity of mind, of course – saying "_**If I get out of this alive – this is your fault,**_**peasant**_**– you'll have to tell me what's going on!**_", before he finally let her go to start running too.

When Sokka passed by her, he eyed Katara with that look that says: "_you're the next_", Katara feels like she should be afraid or something, but she is not.

Katara feels like the pain she felt is not quite done with her yet, but that she was at a worse place now that when this mess all started: Katara still felt her hurting, but for some other reason she couldn't name just yet, her pain started to make her feel like burning – or was that warm sensation burning from something else?

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... TBC!

(Thank you again for reading! And for leaving a review - I hope you did, at least, AHAHA; I feel like this ending was baaad and Zuko was a bit OOC, but... Well, you tell me!)


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